It’s been a little over a month since my child has left for school. So far, I haven’t cried and that’s doing pretty good. Maybe there’s still a chance for me to do that, but not yet. I think of her often and wonder what she’s doing throughout her day. Yes, we talk a lot. But, it’s not the same. I wish to see her face and laugh and play with her once more. I’m sounding like I’ll never get to do that again. I know I will, but I wish that day was today. My empty nest saga continues.
I’ve read other blogs of other parents that are going through the same thing. I see too that though I am not alone, at times, I feel like I am as no one in my circle can relate to my struggle. I’ve also read blogs that say that we shouldn’t wallow in it. We should be happy that our child is gone and that it’s a new season for us to do whatever it is we want. That is true.
“Be open to what comes next for you. You may be heading in one direction and then life brings you another that might be a good thing.” ~ Natalie Cane, MariaShriver.com
It is a new season for us to what we want. Just one thing; the “grieving” process is different for everyone. There is no “cookie cutter” process that fits all. It’s not something you can just shut off. You’ve raised your child and yes, they are flying out of the nest into a new world of their own. Does this mean that we stop it all and happily rejoice that they’re gone?
I am grateful that I have this opportunity to start my life anew. Still, finding that thing that will make me happy is still a work in progress. I am still taking my time figuring it all out. I still get up and go to work every day and then come home to…….my empty nest. Don’t misunderstand me. This is who I am at the moment. I still struggle.
Who are these other people to tell me how to handle my process? They don’t know me. They don’t know my struggles. Maybe they need to stick to their own process and do what it is that makes them happy.
While I’m working through this, I am enjoying time for myself. As a single mom, it was always about her. I worked one or two jobs at a time to support us. I did what I had to do to survive. My daughter and I are very close. She’s my home girl. I am a very proud mom. While I was teaching her to follow her dreams, I learned that it was okay to start pursuing my dreams too. That’s what my daughter saw. My daughter saw her mom working towards her goals and dreams. She saw me do that.
What did she learn throughout all this? My daughter learned that she too can pursue her goals and dreams. She learned early how to set goals for herself and figured out that she can have what she wants with work and perseverance. My daughter learned not to give up.
I think this conversation is a great one to have and I’m glad I read those blogs that say to stop whining and be happy that you don’t have to do as much laundry, or cook huge meals, etc. Those blogs that say it’s time to get excited to start living our dreams. I am grateful that I got to do all those things. I’m grateful that I got to be a mom. My nest is empty. However, there are some women out there that don’t get this opportunity.
Instead of being upset over my empty nest, I choose to be blessed that I am able to have one. The fact that my daughter is off to college shows me that I did something right. As a mom, you are allowed to “grieve” your empty nest. Your process is not the same as anyone else. Not everyone may understand your journey and those that do and tell you to stop whining and just move on, well, you don’t need to share with them anymore if they can’t be supportive. Also, remember that a whole new life is out there for you to discover. This does not mean that you’re saying goodbye to your child forever. It means that it’s a new chapter in your both of your lives to do whatever it is that you desire to do.
Until next time…
Hi there! It’s nice to meet you! I’m a successful single mama, mental health advocate, sports fan, blogger and all around fun person helping other overwhelmed and stressed women entrepreneurs to get hope, have faith and be inspired to push through their depression and anxiety so they too can live the life of their dreams. Say hello! I would love to meet you! 🙂