getting back on track

It’s been a LONG time since I’ve written anything.  It was not my plan to post inconsistently or not at all.  I was in a bad place.  I was dealing with health issues; not just mental, but also physical too.  it took me a long time to deal with all of it.  I’m happy to say that I’m feeling better and now that I am, I can focus on getting back on track.

Life Happens!

We’re a month into 2018 and I’ve really been excited about what I’m doing.  2017 was such a bad year and I felt that I deserved a ‘do-over.’ I know we can’t get that time back. That’s obvious. But we can reset ourselves and start pursuing our dreams again.  I fell off track.  I want to share my story about what happened and finally getting back on track.

I was filled with so much stuff in 2017.  From my depression kicking into full swing to medical issues to having emergency surgery, let’s just say it’s been a hell of a year.  But, guess what?  I’m still here.

It wasn’t an easy feat.  I had to fight my way back here.   There were so many times that I just wanted to give up.  I wanted so much for my goals and dreams to come true, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it.  How do I get back on the horse again after being kicked off so many times?

FAITH.  It sounds so simple, but it’s yet so hard to do.  How do you have faith in what you can’t see when all you do see is bad things or hear negative Nancy’s around you?  How do you know not to give up when you really want to?  FAITH.

What is FAITH?

The Bible states that “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (NIV).  The dictionary defines it a little simpler; having complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

I personally struggled with having faith in anyone or anything during my life, most recently this past year.  Everywhere I turned, I was being knocked down again and again and again.  I couldn’t understand why.  I was having so many health issues going on.  Why? Why was I having so many health issues? What was I doing wrong that was causing me to be sick a lot?  What did I do to deserve this? I didn’t know. All I knew was that it was happening to me and I hated it.  My faith was shot.

What Happened Next?

During this time, I fell deeper into my depression.  I cried a lot.  I had so many things going on with me. I didn’t understand what was happening.  The only thing I could do was go to work then go home and sit in my room.  I didn’t want to go anywhere or see anyone.  Isolation was my main friend.

Fast forward to one long night in September.  During this night, I was having so much pain.  I didn’t know what it was.  I couldn’t sleep.  The pain was that agonizing.

Finally, I went to the emergency room and during my stay, I was told that I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery.  I. WAS. DONE.  On top of everything else I had to deal with, now we can add surgery to that plate.  I was over being sick.  I wanted to be better again.

At this point, I hated my life.  I felt that I was being punished for something.  That’s where I went wrong.  We shouldn’t hate life.  We may hate the things that happen in our lives, but we shouldn’t hate life.  Life is a blessing; a gift. What we choose to do with our lives is truly up to us.

Getting Back on Track

During this time, I realized that I had more power than I realized.  I didn’t see it because all I saw were all the obstacles that I was facing.  Is this you too?  Are you so focused on your obstacles because that is all you see? It’s easy to stay stuck on that.  I can admit that.  But, what if you turned that around?  What if you woke up and finally realized that you control your own destiny.  You control your life.  It’s time to work on getting back on track.

Here’s my question to you:  What are you going to do to get yourself back on track?

That was the same question I asked myself repeatedly.  I will admit, I had no answer to that question for quite a while.  It’s okay.  You may find yourself there too.  Don’t rush the process.  Enjoy the journey. It’s not impossible. It can be done.

Here’s what I did initially.  I started to change how I saw things.  Instead of seeing a glass half empty, I started seeing it half full.  I focused on finding the positive in a situation instead of the negative. It wasn’t easy at first.  Matter of fact, it took some work and a lot of catching myself to make sure I wasn’t falling back into those old traps again.  This may not seem like a lot to do, but it took a lot of work.

The Next Steps

Soul searching was another thing I did.  I had to admit to myself that I was living my life based on what others wanted me to do and be.  It was the time for me to find myself again and learn to accept myself the way I am. It was time to finally accept that it was okay for me to be who I wanted to be.  It wasn’t easy finding my way back to living life according to my terms again, but I’m doing it.  Let me tell you.  I feel so free. Really, I do.

I’m doing the things that I want to do.  Getting back into writing again was something that I wanted and needed to do.  I gave birth to two new blogs; and  I am proud of what I’m accomplishing and I hope you will be too.

Finally, the biggest thing I did was learn to be patient with myself.  Rome wasn’t built in a day.  It too took time to build.  I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m now enjoying the journey as I find and rediscover who I am.  I’m finally getting back on track to my dreams.

Your Turn?

What is it that you want to do?  Who do you want to be?  You can be anything and anyone you choose to be.  It’s up to you to start taking those first steps in that direction.  Our journeys will not be the same, but our destinations will be; happiness.

Whatever you choose to do, make sure it makes you happy.  Don’t live up to anyone else’s terms, but your own.

I want to hear your story about getting back on track.  Maybe there’s something I can learn from you.  Comment below and share it with me. I look forward to reading it.